What Do I Love More?

by Suzie Botross

Hi, nice to meet you! My name is Suzie. I’m a type A personality. I’m driven by deadlines, I love a good challenge, I love seeing ticks on my to-do-list and I have ants in my pants.

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been more challenged than ever to find my full contentment in God. In fact, I recently felt God ask me this question, “Hey Suzie, hypothetically speaking, if you were to just find your contentment in me and never accomplish any further wins for the rest of your life, would you be ok with that?”

What? That question messes with my head. Here’s why...

  1. I believe we are called to be like Jesus and I’ve got a long way to go. How can I stop here?
  2. I believe that we are created to grow, develop and thrive. How can I stop now?
  3. I believe that I have promises over my life that are not yet fulfilled. How can I stop believing?
  4. I believe that God Himself wired me this way. How can I stop being me?

God’s question to me, at face value, goes against the grain of my deep belief systems. However, I have come to recognise that God is not asking me to sit around and do nothing. He’s ultimately asking me, “What do you love more, me or your accomplishments?”

God created me for intimacy with Him above accomplishments for Him. Have I traded my first calling for my second calling?

Every part of me knows that chasing accomplishments (even the ones that God has placed on my heart) is a deep and bottomless pit. Sooner or later the accomplishments surface the pressing and convicting need to answer that wretched and confronting question: “Is this really about God, or is this really about me?” Yuk, who wants to open up that pride and self worth box?

I have been practising just getting into God’s presence and resting in his embrace. I’m diligently and intentionally pressing in with any ideas that the Spirit gives me so that I may experience full contentment in God’s love alone. Full stop.

How am I doing this, practically?

  1. I’m spending time in God’s Word daily, loving on Him and letting Him love on me. I’m also asking Him to “Create in me a new heart, oh Lord and renew a steadfast spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10)
  2. I’m praying a simple phrase, over and over, all day. Here’s my phrase: “Father God, you don’t owe me anything, you have already given me Jesus.”
  3. I’m re-wiring my mind. I’m acknowledging the fact that when my accomplishments come from a place of contentment in God, they are pleasing to God. The reverse breaks His heart.

What about you? What’s God saying to you today? He desires your presence and your full heart. He desires you and not what you do. Will you join me on this journey towards finding FULL contentment - in God alone?


Suzie Botross has been married to Peter for 25 years. She is mum to 3 children aged, 18, 15 and 12.  Suzie is an Author of two books, She Will Run, and, Break Free from Motherly Guilt. Suzie has trained global organisations for 20 years on all things learning and development which allows her to blend in this expertise with her passion for raising Jesus-like disciples. She brings her audiences proven, practical, honest, application-based, say-it-as-it-is and transformative teaching. Suzie is also the Co-founder (alongside Peter) of a Discipleship Training organisation called, GenJ.  GenJ is all about raising a generation of Jesus-like disciples and disciple-makers, via online and in-person training programs, resources, coaching and television broadcast. Follow GenJ on Instagram.


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